President Trump is delighted to force other world leaders into subservience: “They all want to kiss my ass” (aka “bribe me”), he boasted. We know that Trump has an insatiable ego and craves power, but his off-the-charts narcissism never fails to amaze, as demonstrated this past week when the “yippy” bond market forced him to back down on his threatened tariffs (except on China, of course). Rather than risk the humiliation of defeat, Trump and his legion of minions claimed it was his strategy all along, that it was always part of the naked emperor’s clever “plan,” but we all know that’s not what happened; he vastly overreached and had to take the nearest offramp to avoid potential catastrophe.
It all reminds this humble spirit of the bumbling French Police Inspector Jacques Clouseau, another undaunted narcissist who never considers the possibility that he’s wrong or might be the one at fault. In the midst of making a total fool of himself for the umpteenth time, he claims that “every move I make is carefully planned.” As ridiculous as that sounds—just like Trump’s assertion that he knows what he’s doing based on “instinct”—he clearly believes it. Like Trump, the absurdity of Clouseau’s narcissism knows no bounds.
When, in another classic scene, Clouseau walks straight into a wall rather than through an open doorway, he reacts by telling his host that he should have his “architect investigated.” It doesn’t enter his mind that he’s an idiot who walks into walls; no, to his way of thinking the architect is obviously at fault for putting the door in the wrong place. If that isn’t narcissism—expecting a door to be wherever you want it—I don’t know what is. He isn’t embarrassed so much as he’s angry that he suffered for someone else’s mistake. Clouseau may be a blithering fool, but in his mind he’s never wrong. Remind you of anyone?
“Every Move I Make is Carefully Planned”
Inspector Clouseau, A Shot in the Dark, 1964
“It was All Part of the Plan”
Scott Bessent, Trump’s Secretary of the Treasury, 2025
Trump, no matter the absurdity, never EVER admits he’s wrong or sees the errors of his ways; he just doubles down and down and down. In reality, of course, he’s been walking into walls all his life, including bankrupting six businesses and stiffing his contractors for millions in the process. He seemingly thought he could turn Atlantic City into another Las Vegas on the East Coast, but like many of his ventures, the result was disastrous. (The Trump Plaza Hotel and Casino was finally demolished in 2021.) Remember, despite turning himself into a New York City celebrity via endless self-promotion, Trump was a loser in business, who remains persona non grata with America’s banks to this day. In other words, the odds that he knows what he’s doing when it comes to international trade and monetary policy are infinitesimally small.
The Notion that Trump is a Successful Businessman is a Joke!
Whatever his foibles, Clouseau’s narcissistic stupidity didn’t threaten to send the country into recession, bring down the world financial order, or destroy the American dollar. The vast majority of economists, investors, and business people think that raising tariffs and starting a trade war is a terrible idea that won’t end well for the United States or the American people. But Trump has the audacity to believe that he’s right and everyone else is wrong. As long as the whole world kisses his ass, aka put money in one of the many presidential coffers.