You Are What You Eat!

Trump Balloon

I acknowledge that Tucker Carlson—recently fired from Fox “News” and about to surface only God knows where—no doubt has many fans who are well-educated and living in comfortable economic circumstances (the old stereotype of upper middle class Republican voters). And yet it’s hard not to picture his viewers as the worst MAGA caricatures: uneducated, low income, very often obese and in poor physical health, a result of drugs, alcohol, and poor diet. In other words, many of the same people who don MAGA caps at Trump rallies and stormed the Capitol on January 6th because they believed the “big lie.” (Alas, this humble spirit has exhausted his politeness when it comes to these people.)

I, along with many others, have written about the bizarre parasitic relationship between the Fox primetime hosts, the Republican Party, and Donald Trump, each taking strength and legitimacy from the other in a destructive downward spiral of fear and grievance, all nourished by a constant stream of false information.  But what about the disturbing similarity between the MAGA’s poisonous food consumption and their poisonous media consumption.  Putting drugs and alcohol aside, a lot of MAGAs are killing themselves with lethal doses of sugar and starch—soft drinks, baked goods, and fattening fast food with empty calories and little nutritional value.  Often including only a minimum of fruits and vegetables, their diet is terrible!  These people are poisoning themselves to the point of suicide on a daily basis—just as they poison their minds listening to Carlson and the other Fox whores.

Yes, MAGA food consumption is a destructive downward spiral that mirrors their media consumption.  Like rats gorging themselves until they die of obesity, these people fill their bodies with the worst possible food (often chemicals!) because it’s pleasurable and satisfies an immediate need.  They are forced to over-medicate and monopolize our country’s healthcare system because they refuse to address the real problem, the destructive diet that is killing them almost from the day they’re born until their death from the long-term effects of obesity—diabetes, heart disease, cancer, and dementia—yes, dementia, when the inevitable consequences of their food and media consumption finally converge.  

Tucker Carlson’s Fans are Like Obese Rats Gorging Themselves to Death on Validating Lies.

The Dominion lawsuit revealed the Fox audience had long-since begun to dictate the content it consumed on the network. Just like their addiction to sugar and starch and fast food, MAGAs want to feed their anger and paranoia—the same anger and paranoia that Carlson and others have nurtured for so long, high on the list being the brown immigrant invasion on our southern border, the Black Lives Matter mob, and the “woke radical left” plotting to take away their country and their way of life.  And just like rats that can’t stop gorging themselves, these people are unable to pull themselves away from the steady diet of ridiculous lies Tucker feeds them, their constant dose of poisonous validation.

Despite the 2021 boycott of Swanson frozen foods, it’s not true that Tucker Carlson’s family owns Swanson.  Tucker’s stepmother, Patricia Swanson, is an heiress to some of the Swanson family’s wealth, but the Swanson brand was sold to Campbells in 1955, well before Tucker was born or she married his father.  But isn’t it fitting that a product emblematic of America’s love affair with processed food, a bad imitation of a homecooked meal designed to take people away from the dinner table and spend the maximum amount of time staring brainlessly at television, be associated with Tucker.  Alas, the destruction of the American diet and the disintegration of the American mind seem to have converged around one of the worst rats America every produced.

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