Well, Trump saved the worst for last, didn’t he? “The American Carnage is Over” was replaced by “America’s decline is over,” but there was still plenty of anger and darkness on display in his inaugural address, and his speeches later in the day at the Capitol visitors center and the Capital Arena were even worse. Trump knows his MAGA faithful love vengeance and retribution, and he aims to please. But this humble spirit didn’t expect the day would end with him issuing a blanket pardon for ALL the January 6th insurrectionists (he calls them “hostages,” of course), including members of the white supremacist Proud Boys and Oath Keepers who committed acts of violence. That will sure make our streets safer!

Following a rehash of his obligatory branding elements, including “Make America Great Again” (updated to “saved by God to make America great again”), “Put America First,” and “The Golden Age of America,” Trump launched into a diatribe of all the shiny objects he hopes will distract his MAGA base from the fact that he can’t possibly do what he promised them during the campaign. Along with the pardons, the growing list included:
- The Gulf of Mexico will be called the Gulf of America and Mt. Denali will once again be called Mt. McKinley. (MAGAs, of course, would never question why the U.S. presumes that it’s “America,” when, in fact, it doesn’t even constitute half of the North American continent, let alone North and South America combined.)
- “Drill Baby Drill” expresses MAGA’s ignorant denial of climate change and Trump’s passionate dedication to the fossil fuel industry, never mind the U.S. is already the world’s largest producer of oil and gas and an increase is unlikely to reduce gasoline or heating prices as Trump contends.
- The elimination of birthright citizenship, even though it is enshrined in the 14th Amendment and would accomplish little except pacify “great replacement” fearing MAGAs.
- Take the Panama Canal back from Panama based on what appears to be a collection of false grievances, including the claim that China is getting favorable treatment.
- The government recognizes only two genders, male and female. The far-right’s obsession with transgender issues made for a great campaign ad but they are unlikely to substantively impact most of his supporters’ lives.
What happened to purchasing Greenland and turning Canada into the 51st state, you ask? Has he already changed his mind or did someone forget to load them on the teleprompter? Even without them, much of the president’s inaugural address evoked 19th Century Imperialism, specifically “Manifest Destiny.” (Presumably when he said that America would “pursue Manifest Destiny into the stars” it was a nod to Elon Musk’s ambitions for Mars.) Lest he leave anything out, Trump promised “we’ll not forget our God,” which is presumably an attack on “Godless” Democrats and liberals, let alone the Marxists and communists that one of his executive orders officially banned from entering the country.
Maybe the Tech Bros Can Have Tax Breaks and Crypto, but We Can’t Let Them Have a Private Army of Proud Boys and Oath Keepers!

The fact is, Trump can’t do the big things he promised—bring down prices for things like groceries, gas and rent or fix the healthcare crisis (that’s a no-no for a big chunk of the Republican donor class), so he’s tossing out every shiny object he can think of and hoping some of them will stick. As one commentator put it, Trump is trying to be both the arsonist and the fireman, creating issues out of nothing, and then portraying himself as the savior.
It’s all nothing but cover for the tech bro oligarchs who were seated in the Capitol rotunda, the people who as good as own Trump and increasingly own the rest of us as well. Never mind the top 1%, the people in that room have over $1 trillion dollars in wealth in a country already suffering from dangerous economic inequality. Needless to say, the tech bros don’t have to worry about grocery or gas prices, or if their health insurance company will come through when they need it.